Post 1: let’s do this

November 21, 2023

I never understood the appeal of listening to Taylor Swift until my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Dramatic? Probably. True? 100%. So here I am, trying to make sense of it all, and learning to accept the hard fact that I will never be able to. And that’s okay. I’m not God and I will never know everything. Sometimes the answer to our negatively ruminating thoughts is, “I don’t know, and that’s okay.” Shoutout to my therapist for hammering that phrase in. I’ve established it as my new mantra. 

I’m starting this blog because I recently met someone who suggested it. Did they actually mean it or were they just trying to fill the silence? I don’t know (and that’s okay). And, because my therapist told me to journal every day—I think this commitment to post every day will act as an accountability partner. Quite frankly, I suck at consistency. Consistency? Discipline? Motivation? Accountability? Probably a combination of all of those and the like. Whatever millennial-minded, politically correct term you want to categorize my lax or negligent habits with, the simple fact is, I never stick with it—whatever “it” is at the time. I always find a reason, perhaps an “out,” to halt any self-improvement. Does that mean I prefer to self-sabotage? I don’t think so. Maybe. I guess we’ll find out. 

Anyways, here we are.

If you’re thinking, why now? Life is way too short. Cliche? 100%. True? 100%. I simply cannot go on living like this, in a constant state of comatose confusion. The aforementioned dramatic, heart-shattering, life-altering experience was a blessing in disguise (they always are, right?) and allowed me to see exactly where I do not want my life to go. Thank GOD. But now I have to take the steps to ensure that the path I do choose in life is good and great and fantastic. Maybe it’s silly or dumb to start a blog as a step for this newfound goal. Oh well.  

Whyiscchappy? Because she knows how to take accountability, and is learning to get better at it. (Refer back to the humble admission of “I always find an out”).