Post 27: versions
February 23, 2024
Well over 6 months ago, on a random time-passing, road-tripping phone call, a friend I hold near and dear to my heart essentially asked me, “Have you ever thought about how many versions of you there are in the world?” At first, I was on the defense—there’s only one like me…ME! I thought he was insinuating I wasn’t special or unique, or that my general authenticity was lacking—ouch. But, as I inquired deeper, he graciously clarified, and basically said: No, no, how many versions of you do you think exist in the world? (At this point, I was still quite obviously confused, thinking, “Does my brain know how to compute words?”) But then…like how many perceptions exist? How many people have a view of you that you may never even know about? The “you” that exists in your best friends mind is different than that of your mom, which is different than that of your partner, which is different than that of the cashier you see once a week.
I think I have thought of this question nearly every single day since being asked, and I’m not quite sure why. I’m not too worried about what people think of me, but perhaps have an innate desire to make a positive impact on people’s lives, and now I am more conscientious of that.
Here are just a few versions of me that exist to others, at least, I think:
Restaurant CC…did I do anything particularly memorable for a server?
Walmart CC…did I smile at someone and make their day better? Did I look poorly at someone and hurt them?
Friend CC…am I reliable? How do my friends actually see me? For every friend I have, there is a different version of me out there. Some of them have seen me cry and breakdown, some have only seen me laugh and joke, others I only let see the surface, and others, the darkest parts.
Daughter CC…I am thankful for my parent’s unconditional love.
Partner CC…did I leave a positive impact on someone’s soul? Did I leave them feeling worse than before they encountered me?
You get the gist. Think about how many people you remember doing “little things.” For example…one time a toll booth worker told me, “Monday’s are rough, but they always get better,” when she inquired about how I was and I broke down in tears (yes, I was stopped at a toll on I-95). I will never forget her. Her small act of kindness created a new version of herself, one that exists only in my consciousness. WEIRD.
On an even heavier (or actually, more enlightening) note…think about how God sees you. I know…with unconditional love—Romans 5:8, and others. God doesn’t see us this way through rose-colored lenses, but with undeniable clarity, and He still chooses us.
It blows my mind that the person who asked me this simple, yet profound, question will never know who the version of them is, to me. And vice versa.
Obviously, you can tell how much I’ve run this idea over and over in my mind. I encourage you to think about it, to be motivated to make all your little versions that exist in the world, the best—each of them living up to their full potential, if you will.
whyiscchappy? For people who have crossed my path like T.S., and plants—I really love a good pathos.