Post 9: coffee shops
November 29, 2023
I love coffee shops. They’re like a building that gives you a hug when you walk in the door. There’s so much depth to my infatuation: the intricacy of brewing coffee; the history and innovation of it, the aroma, the coziness, the versatility of purpose, the growth that can happen around a table (side note: one of the best sermons I ever experienced was about coming to the table—will write more later). Work meetings? Ok. Bible studies? Yep. Intentional time with friends? Definitely.
There’s just a universal understanding of kindness and respect at coffee shops. I cannot even count the number of times a complete stranger has asked me to keep an eye on their stuff as they stepped away.
Not to get all emo in this post, but the most memorable time I had at a coffee shop was with a great friend and influence in my life. It was when I was going through all the trials and tribulations and engulfed in all the repercussions of my jaded decision-making, and the hot, white hurt of someone else’s poor decisions.
My friend sat me down and said that we had to talk (internal AH!!!).
She wanted to help me. She wanted me to listen to understand, not just to get her to stop talking. She wanted to talk for my sake, not for hers. She even told me that I needed to be ready to genuinely and vulnerably talk with no walls up, she wasn’t going to waste those efforts to talk to an unreceptive mind. She had taken the time and effort to categorize her thoughts into written notes in a way she knew I would understand (she gets me), ensuring no possibility for miscommunication. She talked about the life I had been leading from an outside perspective—from the perspective of a best friend watching their best friend suffer. This is the absolute worst and I cannot imagine the pain she was feeling. She talked about the life that she knew I had the potential to live. She showed me what it feels like to be valued and she made me feel valuable when I had felt opposite of this for so long. She heard me and I heard her. We hit a moment of clarity and hope (thank God), but she didn’t stop there. Instead of dusting her hands off and being proud of herself for my breakthrough, she helped me work through the nitty gritty of it. She helped determine my next steps, and she constantly reminded me of my worth as a daughter of Christ.
I took physical notes from her notes and words. I had to see the words to understand my reality. When you are so wrapped up in an emotionally abusive and manipulative situation with seemingly endless layers of hurt, it is hard to even categorize your thoughts, let alone decide how you actually feel about something and make a decision. Writing helps, highly recommend.
We both cried in that coffee shop that day. Shoutout to all the poor people who witnessed this, but hopefully they saw it as a testament to Jesus’ love shown through my best friend.
Much later, she sent me a prayer that was my phone background for a long time. It read, “Lord I ask that you pick (me) up and hold her close to Your heart. I ask that she feels Your love and knows that You are here and You are carrying her through the hard times. Let her feel the love and support she has from friends and family and know that she is WORTHY of Your grace and love. AMEN”
I can never thank her enough for what she did for me then and continues to do for me now. She has truly helped to heal a heart she didn’t break, and there’s no way I’d be where I am if not for her. I am so thankful.
So basically, coffee shops are great.
whyiscchappy? B.R.N. <3, cold brew coffee, coffee shops at Christmas time, coffee shops that lead missions to better the world.